I like big butts and I cannot lie!

No matter what you think, never EVER let your girlfriend think you think she does not have the perfect figure.
Even if the jeans she wears are two sizes too small, always compliment her on how she looks. I am a firm believer in always speaking the truth, so this is sometimes a very difficult thing for me to do. I always manage to mess a compliment up with something I should just have left out!

What not to say: "Don't be silly honey. You're beautiful - I like big girls"

How many wedding photos are enough?

First of all - Never even ask your fiancée this question!

There can never be enough fhotos of your special day, and asking how many would be enough might lead her to think this is just another place you want to cut on the costs of the wedding, and that you do not love her enough to pay for more photos.

What not to say: "Four photo's will be enough of this wedding. One of us, one of your parents, one of my parents and one of the cake. That's it!"

Why?

Knowing what not to say and still saying it is a very effective way of turning any situation into either awkward silence or bloody rage.

I have mastered this art over the years and decided to share this with the world. Caution - this is not an art you particularly want to master, it is a good way to get a black eye or broken nose if you do not have an arsenal of compliments and sorries at hand, and the ability to deliver those sounding sincere.